So we are starting IVF soon

After some discussion, we decided to pass on the additional testing with the uro.  We felt that we would end up at IVF anyways so might as well get there sooner.  We have a few more tests to run and we have to wait for the money to come through but we are looking to start early to mid January.    We also decided that we will most likely only give this one shot.  It is a lot of money and the odds of success go down after one unsuccessful cycle.  We will do the one cycle and how ever many cycles it will take to use up any frosties we may get.  After that we are going to work on saving as much money as we can so that in a few years we will be in a place where adoption is feasible.

had our appt. with the new uro

He wants to run a few more tests before any final decisions are made.  He said while DH's numbers aren't terrible, they aren't exactly great either.  He did confirm a small varicocele on both sides so surgery is an option.  He gave us a 50/50 shot it would improve his numbers, though probably not too dramatically.   He is going to test DH's testosterone levels to make sure they are normal, and he is going to do a DNA fragmentation test.  He said if there is a high level of fragmentation the surgery could have a more drastic effect.   Assuming these two tests come back relatively normal, we will be proceeding full speed with IVF in the new year.

OWL week 4 and update

Week 4 was my best week yet.  I lost 3 pounds for a total of 6.5 pounds in 4 weeks.   I am not craving the sweets nearly as bad as I was.  I even turned down cake at a baptism over the weekend.

In TTC news, I am 8dpo today.  My body seems to be doing everything right this month, except my temps are heading south so it looks like I'll be starting bcps this weekend.  My husband's urologist appt. is coming up next week so I will soon know for sure what our plan of action is.

Week 3 of OWL

I lost 2 pounds!  Total weight loss of 3.5 lbs in 3 weeks.  With the amount of cheating I still do I'll take this any day.  

Two Weeks Into Operation Weight Loss

I'm down a total of about 1.5 pounds.  At this rate I am not going to be down the 20 pounds I wanted to before IVF, but any weight loss will help so I'm going to do my best to stick with it.  The past two weeks have been tough to fit  working out in, but I am going to get back to focusing on that.  Hopefully that will speed up the loss a little  bit.   I'm still drinking Pepsi here and there, but it is definitely more of a treat versus the only liquid I consume.  The fact that I survived Halloween and my first CD1 without binging gives me hope that maybe this time I can stick with it.

One week into Operation Weight Loss

I lost half a pound.  I'll be honest, I'm seriously cranky about this.  I woke up to pants that were snug, and only a tiny little loss on the scale.   The only thing keeping me from a full on rage is that I'm pretty sure that I can blame hormone bloat.  I did cheat and have 2 Pepsi's over the weekend so I'll have to try a lot harder this week.  Knowing me, if I don't see a little bit better results after this week I'll give up. 

Operation Weight Loss starts today

I recieved an informational video from the IVF clinic last week detailing their success rates among other things.  It turns out that if I can manage to lose about 20 lbs before we do IVF our chances go up about 5%.  It doesn't seem like a huge jump in odds, but with the amount of money on the line I am going to do everything I can.  So Operation Weight Loss (OWL) has officially begun. So here is the plan of action.

1. I'm giving up Pepsi.  It has been my emotional crutch for as long as I can remember, plus it always makes food taste better.  I figure if my husband can quit smoking, I can do this but I am already craving one sooo bad.

2. I'm going to start making a weekly meal plan and following it.  I've done meal plans in the past but I always stray when my husband calls me up and says he wants to go out.  

3. I am going to make it a goal to work out a minimum of 3 days a week for half an hour.  It isn't much but it is 3 more days than I've been doing so hopefully it makes a difference.  I've got a stationary bike and I'm also going to start looking for a good video with some strength/flexibility workouts.

I survived the laparoscopy

The surgery only took a half an hour.  They doctor found no physical reason why I have not gotten pregnant, so it was disappointing but luckily my recovery has been really easy.  I've had pretty minimal pain.  My husband will be talking with a new urologist next week, and then after my post-op appt.  I think we will be in search of an IVF center to start IVF sometime next year.  We have a few weddings next year that we are in, so we will have to try and work IVF around those.  Until then we will just try on our own and hope for the best.

It's been awhile

I haven't really had much to update since the last month has just been sitting around waiting for my lap but I am happy to announce that once again, I had a short cycle.  I didn't temp so I can't say for sure I ovulated, but my other signs suggest that I did.  My LP was still borderline short, but I say close enough!   This makes me hopeful that if they find something during the lap and remove it, we will be able to get pregnant without meds.   It would be absolutely amazing to be able to get pregnant without having to pump myself full of hormones.  If nothing is found during the lap to explain our lack of success, it will be a really tough decision whether we want to try on our own and hope my body continues to cooperate, or go forward with IVF since obviously nothing else we do seems to work. 

laparoscopy is scheduled

I met with my RE on Tuesday, and his recommendation was to do a laparoscopy and make sure everything is good to go before we start the process of IVF.    So the surgery is scheduled for September 29th and I'm already freaking out.  Luckily they got me scheduled for a Thursday so I should only need to take 2 days off of work.   I actually am really hoping they find something that will explain our lack of success.  If he is able to find something and remove it, we are going to give IUI a few more tries.  I'll take IUI over IVF any day.  

Add another BFN to the pile

Our last shot at IUI was a negative.  I really thought this was going to be it so I'm pretty crushed.  As of right now it looks like the plan is to start saving money so we can attempt IVF hopefully in January.  Until then I'll just go back to charting and hope something crazy happens.

My ovary is all gigantic

I went to my RE this afternoon after having some horrible cramping this morning.  After doing an ultrasound he told me that because I had so many follicles this cycle, my ovary is enlarged.  He said the follicles that were not mature at trigger have continued to grow.  Since there are a lot of them they just sort of ran out of room.  He said it is nothing to worry about, but I have to take it easy.  No bouncing around for me.    If I don't get pregnant it should calm down in the next week.  If I do happen to get pregnant, then it is something he will have to monitor, because it can get bigger.

Triggering tonight!

After 2 very long days where I was convinced we were cancelling, I am triggering tonight.  RE said I have 1 definitely mature, 2 that will catch up, and 8 that he is confident will not catch up.  IUIs are scheduled for tomorrow afternoon and Friday morning.   I am beyond excited that not only am I triggering, but I don't have to come in on the weekend for an IUI.  WooO!!!!

Not paying for meds after all

I got the call yesterday that we are OK to proceed, so I start injects tomorrow.   I also made the fabulous discovery that we are not paying out of pocket for meds this cycle.  When my husband called the insurance company they had all ready approved all the meds for this cycle.  The $200 I handed over was sooo much easier to handle than the $1,000 I was expecting. 

My husband is also still looking into finding a new RE.  He found someone he is interested in checking out, so he is going to call him today.  I don't think we will be doing any more treatments this year, but we can always meet with him and see if he thinks any additional testing is necessary before we start trying again next year.

Trying again

So we have decided to give the follistim and IUI one more go.  We are basically out of meds coverage so we are paying cash for the drugs this time.  With my luck this will be the cycle I'm a slow responder.  I'm a little nervous about the amount of money we are about to spend knowing that with a total of 4 failed IUIs now that my chances aren't spectacular.  I am pretty sure this is going to be it for the year.  Unless we win the lottery I just can't see spending any more money on fertility meds. 

I had my baseline ultrasound this morning and there are 4 cysts so I'm currently waiting to hear if the bloodwork comes back clear to proceed or if I'll be spending a few weeks on bcps. 

Oh, my whine of the day.  The lady who took my blood this morning sucks.  Every other blood draw they have gone to the same vein in my left arm.  This lady decided to poke about an inch to the right of it.  Surprise!  No blood there.   So I got a double poke.  The only other time I had this lady she couldn't find a vein at all, and she ended up drawing from my hand, which hurts a whole lot more than a little elbow poke.

Another cycle, another BFN

Negative HPT at 12 dpo this morning, and of course as soon as I took the test the spotting started.  I have to take the progesterone for 2 more days unless full flow starts, but I think it's pretty safe to call this another bust.  My husband is going to call our insurance company today to see how much IF meds coverage we have left, and then we are going to discuss next steps.  My husband wants to try metformin since he has seen some studies that link it to improved egg quality.  I'm back to thinking I want the laparoscopy to rule out endometriosis.  My RE has yet to back us up on either of these wishes so who knows what will happen.

Triggered!

I did my trigger shot this morning.  We are only working with one mature follicle this time, so my hopes aren't quite as high as last time.  I go in for my first IUI tomorrow morning and then another on Monday morning.  Time for the looooong 2ww, and my good friend progesterone.

Wooo!!!

My RE decided that he is still comfortable proceeding with the injects cycle, so I start the Follistim injections July 3rd.    My fingers are now permanently crossed.

I have cysts

I had my baseline u/s this morning, and they found two cysts.  One of my left ovary and one that was not attached to an ovary at all.   They drew blood this morning to see what my E2 levels are before making any decisions, but I'm pretty darn sure that this is going to be a canceled cycle.   Great.  Just what I wanted.  Some more time to just sit around twiddling my thumbs. 

I'm all signed up for Injects Take 2

It took some work to get around the holiday weekend and my husbands little trip, but we made it happen.  I start birth control pills CD3.  Then June 30th I take my last pill and go in for my baseline ultrasound.  Assuming that is all good I give my first shot July 3rd.  First monitoring appt. is scheduled for July 7th. 

This is all assuming this current cycle is a bust of course, but I'm heavily leaning towards bust so I am ready to get this show on the road!

Guess who has rock star ovaries?

I do!!!  I was having some trouble believing it, but my last two temps have really confirmed it.  I ovulated. By myself. Again.   I am currently 7 days past ovulation.  I am really hoping for a my period to hold off until Tuesday for two big reasons.  First being that would give me a nice, normal LP.  Second being that it would not ruin yet another trip up north. 

I am leaving Saturday to spend a few days in Two Harbors with my  Sisters-in-law and their husbands and kids.  I'm really excited to have some quality time with my nephews.   They live in OK so we only see them a few times a year.  I feel like I miss so much.   I will miss my dogs terribly, but I'm sure my brother and father will team up to take good care of them.  So yet another weekend where I will be packing my bag with tampons and HPTs.  At least this time I will have a real bathroom instead of an outhouse.

Holiday weekend needs to get here

  I dread summers at work.  The weather is beautiful, but I'm stuck in my little cubicle with no work to do. I should have gone into teaching like I originally planned.  I think I've already gained 5 pounds from boredom eating.  Someone needs to come to my office and entertain me.

I am really excited for this weekend, it will be our first bbq of the year.  Of course the weather reports are calling for rain, but we always find  a way to have fun anyways.  The real highlight of my weekend though will be Monday.  I have absolutely nothing planned.  I can't wait to just open up the house and be a lazy bum.

Those of you who are reading, what are you plans for the weekend?  Anything epic planned?

IUI #3 was a fail

I had spotting starting at 10 days past IUI, but my RE doesn't seem to be concerned, so he wants to do another round of injects with IUI.   We are going to take a month or two off to get the bills paid from the last round so I'm looking at June or July for IUI #4.   I am also going to start being more aggressive in my savings as I'm losing hope that IUI will work.  If my husband's insurance company is reading, I'd really really really appreciate IVF coverage.  I'll pay more per month even!

Getting the heck out of town!

I am heading up north for a few days.  So excited to just relax.  I loaded a few more books on my Nook so I'll have tons of reading material.    I have packed a few HPTs, but with the spotting I am having I doubt I will use them.    I hope you all have a great weekend! 

Have I mentioned lately that I hate Progesterone?

My eyes are so incredibly heavy right now I don't know how I am going to be able to drive home.  I feel like I need to go get a hotel room and take a nap first.   

I think my trigger shot is finally out of my system, so I'm hoping the line will start making it's reappearance soon. 

First round of injects is done

I got the call to trigger Friday afternoon.  I had 2 mature follicles for sure, and 1 that was real close to mature.  IUI's were on Saturday and Sunday morning.   The RE said my lining looked great and my husband gave a good sample, so now all that is left is to hope we get a little luck to help us out.   I start progesterone tomorrow morning, so the 2 week long nap starts tomorrow.

Monitoring update

I had my first monitoring appt. yesterday.  I have 5 follicles currently measuring over 1cm, with a few getting close and a bunch of little stragglers.  My estradiol levels were good so my RE has me continuing with the same dose with another monitoring appt. tomorrow morning.  I'm crossing my fingers that some of those follicles slow down a little so I don't have to worry about over responding.

Also, I am going to a friends cabin in a few weeks, which I just looked at my chart and realized will most likely be right around test time ( assuming we make it to IUI).  I have this ridiculous vision in my head now of me sitting in the outhouse with a flashlight and an HPT (cause you know I am not going to wait until I get home).

First shot is done

It didn't kill me, so that is good.  I think I can handle doing this every day, but please please please let me be a good responder so I don't have to do it for very long (but not too good, I don't need 10 babies). 

I have to do what with the needle?

I am CD1 today, and my RE has decided to squeeze me in to the current cycle of injects.  I went in today for a baseline ultrasound to make sure my ovaries are good to go.  Then I got to learn how to stab myself with needles the correct way.  First inject is Friday and my first monitoring appt. is Tuesday.  This is really happening. 

I ovulated!!

I had my blood drawn on Saturday and my progesterone was a teeny bit high, so there was a chance I had ovulated.  I went in for a re test on Wednesday and it was 8.2.  I definitely ovulated!  I don't think we stand a chance of it leading to a pregnancy, but I'm so excited that I don't have to use Provera to end my cycle.  As soon as I get my period I am calling my doctor and getting my birth control to wait for the next round of injects.  Always waiting.

Injections it is

My husband had his appointment with the urologist.  After doing some tests and looking at his numbers, he determined that surgery would most likely not improve our chances.    Yay for no surgery!!  I called my RE's office to figure out the next steps.  I had my blood drawn this morning to see if I've ovulated (99% sure I haven't).  Assuming I haven't ovulated I will start Provera to end my cycle.  Once the new cycle starts I will go on birth control until the doctor is ready to start my injects cycle.    It could be as early as mid May. 

F*** you Peta ( sorry mom, this deserves the F word)

So National Infertility Awareness week is coming up end up April, and how is Peta going to honor it?  By giving away a free vasectomy.   Really Peta?  Really?  This is more than just a slap in the face to the millions of people suffering with infertility.  If you think this is as ridiculous as I do, please sign the online petition here and voice your opinion any other way you know how. 

OMG my dog is too cute!

This was little Moomoo the other day trying to guilt me into sharing my pizza rolls. 

It didn't work, but man she is good.  Just looking at the picture makes me want to run home and give her cuddles.

taking the next steps

We met with the RE today to discuss my husbands recent SA (sperm analysis) and see where he wants to go from here.  My husband's numbers came back low on a few factors, so he is going to run some blood tests to rule out a few obvious causes, and then we are being referred to a urologist.  The urologist will be able to tell us if surgery is an option or if my husband is as good as he is gonna get.  Since his numbers were only slightly below what they like to see it is very possible that we will just proceed as we are.  Once we have him all squared away we have 3 options:

1. Continue on Clomid plus IUI one more cycle.   I am very against this plan.  Clomid hasn't worked yet, and the side effects are getting worse each cycle.   Some women just don't have any luck on Clomid and I have accepted that I am one of them.

2. Injectables plus IUI.  He made it sound like the chances of getting pregnant this route are pretty good, the issue with it is how pregnant do I get?  The chance of twins goes up to 1 in 4, the chance of triplets (yes, that is 3 babies crammed in my ute) is 1 in 20, and there are women who end up with 4+.  This route would still be relatively affordable assuming I respond well to the meds.  He said about $1500 for the meds plus the cost of multiple ultrasounds and the IUI.  We are very lucky that our insurance has IF coverage, so for at least one cycle we would only be paying a small fraction of the total cost.

3. IVF - chances of pregnancy would be good ( I believe he said around 50%) and we would be able to control the amount of embryos that get put back in to avoid high order multiples.  The downside is of course cost.  It is about $18,000 per cycle, and we do not have any insurance coverage. 

Since we don't have $18,000 lying around, and I don't want my husband to leave me because of insane mood swings, we are going with option 2.  So as soon as hubby gets squared away I get myself ready for daily shots and uncomfortable monitoring appts. 

TTC light

BFN on Wednesday and CD1 today, so we are now doing TTC light for at least once cycle.  Possibly more depending on the finances.  I still want to temp because I am curious if maybe the clomid knocked some sense into my ovaries, but that is all we will be doing.  No opks or meds involved.  I'm looking forward to the break, but kind of sad that I won't really feel like we have a chance for a while. 

Our future plans are still up in the air.  There is a possibility of finding an RE in town that will put me on Femara.  My current RE does not like to prescribe Femara because he said there has not been enough research on it as a fertility aid, so I have to find a new doc.  I'm not real thrilled about this idea, but the femara is a lot cheaper than option 2, and much less involved.

Our second option is sticking with my current RE's plan.  He wants me to get a laparoscopy to check for endo and then start on injects.  Injects are not cheap and this plan involves me having surgery, so I'm not real thrilled about it.

Talk some sense into me please

I want a 3rd dog.  I have spent the last few hours browsing petfinder and falling in love.   Someone please tell me that having 3 dogs is for crazy people.  I know it would be a bad idea with Moomoo and Guiness already both fighting for our attention, but there are so many adorable dogs out there looking for homes.  I think I need to step away from the computer.

Doh!

The good news is that I remembered my progesterone today.   The bad news is I did not remember to bring my purse with me to work.  Soo glad I packed a lunch today.  Can I mark this down as pregnancy brain?  It can start at 8dpo right?  Right?  OK, no.  I'm just an idiot.

I suck

I managed to forget my darn progesterone already. I'm going to pretend it is the dogs fault for being ridiculous this morning, but really I need to get my act together.

Started the progesterone supps

The absolute worst part of the 2ww for me is the stupid progesterone supps.  They are probably the most disgusting things ever.  Also, I am terrible at remembering to take them.   I don't have too much trouble remembering in the evening, but the morning dose gets me every time.  I can't even count how many times I have been in the car on the way to work before I remember I forgot the supp again.  Luckily I have always remembered when I'm still in range of the house so I can turn around. 

Wish me luck remembering!

IUI #2 is a done deal

I just had my second IUI, and I think we timed this one a little better than last time, so fingers crossed!  I was pretty uncomfortable right after the procedure but I'm feeling back to normal already.   I am super relieved that once again my body let me O early to avoid the weekend.  Thank you ovaries!!!  I have 2 birthday parties and some shopping to do this weekend so I'm glad I got this out of the way.  Best thing about this cycle...my due date is now my Dad's birthday.  yay!!  Come on Thanksgiving baby!

My last cycle of clomid

I am starting my last cycle of Clomid.  If this cycle fails we will be moving on to injectibles.  Please please please let this cycle work.

BFN - no suprise here

I woke up this morning to a temp drop and a negative test, and spotting started this afternoon.  Looks like IUI #1 was a bust.  I was expecting it, but it still stung a bit this morning, especially since I've watched so many girls move on the past few weeks.  I am going to try and get an appt to go in tomorrow and talk about plans for the next cycle.  I feel like we need to do something different, but with my doctor out of town the next 3 weeks I don't really know if different will be an option this cycle.   Assuming I am cyst free I will most likely start Clomid round 5 next week.   Come on Thanksgiving baby!!!

Interesting article

One of the bump girls came across an article in the Huffington Post, and I thought it was a good one to share.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dina-roth-port/infertility-the-disease-w_b_819978.html

It talks about an issue I've noticed with infertility (IF).   I really believe that if more women started being open with their IF struggles it would make some changes happen.   If people realized how wide spread the issue was, maybe IF research would start getting more funding.  Maybe more people would stop to think before they say to someone struggling with IF, " just relax and it will happen".  Maybe, just maybe, insurance companies would be pressured into covering more IF treatments.

First IUI is done

I'm not feeling super optimistic, I feel like we may have gotten in a smidge too late since my temp spiked this morning showing I most likely ovulated yesterday, but my RE said we are definitely still good on timing, so I guess there is hope.  The actual procedure was painless minus the stupid speculum.  It was about 1 minute from legs in stirrups to completion so not too bad at all.  Cramping so far has been minimal, it feels more like gas than anything.   He didn't give my husband's numbers, but he did say the sample was good enough so that is really all that matters.  So now I sit and try not to obsess for 2 weeks. 

Side note, I am celebrating my birthday early, so tomorrow I plan on doing absolutely nothing all day.  I will be in my pjs catching up on the dvr and watching season 2 of Glee in preparation for the big post superbowl show.  I am so excited to have a day of nothing.  I will probably have to get dressed at some point because my husband wants to take me to dinner, but I can stay in pjs until at leat 5 pm, which sounds pretty rock star to me.

IUI #1 is scheduled

I go in tomorrow morning for my first ( and hopefully only) IUI.  I'm both excited and terrified.  I am planning on working afterwards because we are a bit short staffed and have one girl who could go into labor any minute now, so I really hope any cramping I get afterwards is minimal.  Might make for a looong afternoon tomorrow.   I'm also really glad my body cooperated so I didn't have to go in over the weekend.  It's about time my darn body did something right.  It has ruined 2 holidays now, so it needs to start sucking up a bit here.

More crap

One of these days something good will happen for me to blog about.  Today is not that day.  My car is once again in the shop.  We had to have it towed because the alternator is completely dead.  There was no way that car was driving anywhere.  By the time this is paid for we will have spent over $1,000 in one month on this car, and it is only 5 years old.  Our 17 year old Honda is still kicking but our 5 year old Ford just can't seem to get it together.   I guess I can't really blame the car for getting rear ended, but I'm still pretty darn irritated at American cars.  Of course I am only a few thousand miles out of the warranty.

Met with my RE today

I scheduled a sit down with my RE so we could go over where we are at and if any changes need to be made.  After some discussion, he agreed that my vaginismus may be interfering with the getting pregnant, so we are going to be doing IUI for a few cycles in hopes of helping the little swimmers get closer to their final destination.   We got in early enough that we can do IUI this cycle, so we should be able to have 3 good IUI attempts on the Clomid.

The scary news.  If the IUI doesn't work, my next steps are a bit frightening.  First thing is I would have to have a laparoscopy.  It is an outpatient operation, but I'm really not thrilled at the idea of minor surgery.  The next step would be moving onto injectibles.  The odds of multiples are huge with the injects so I am really hoping we don't end up having to go that far.  My doctor told me 1 in 4 end up with twins, which wouldn't be terrible, but 1 in 20 end up with triplets.  Uhhhh....no thanks.  I know we could handle three, but the health risks for everyone involved with triplets freaks me out.

I hate being sick

I started a new cycle yesterday, and boy could I tell.   I was a mad woman yesterday with the hormonal rage.   That combined with the nasty head cold I have...again...made for a pretty miserable day yesterday and today.  I'm going to talk to the doctor because every time they have had me take progesterone I have ended up with this same nasty head cold.  There is definitely a correlation, I'm hoping they don't just look at me like a mad woman.  My primary doctor did say hormone treatments can lower immunity, so maybe I just need to add some extra vitamins to my pre-natal or something to boost my immunity. 

Update on the car - still no car.  I called the shop yesterday and they said it will hopefully be going to paint today, I'm assuming that means it will be ready tomorrow, but who knows.  I am really getting sick of having no car.  I do not live in an area with public transit so I've been relying on my husband to drive me around, and it sucks.  

Stupid car

I called to check on the status of my car in the shop.  They told me it won't be ready until middle of next week.  Unfortunately my rental car is only covered until Saturday.  Time to beg and plead and whine at friends and family for rides I guess.   I can't wait until I can have my own car back.  The little Kia from the rental place is just not the same.

In baby news, I am in my two week wait again, this time my chart actually looks like a chart should.  I am starting to actually get my hopes up this time.  That never leads to good things.

More good news

My husband got the results back from his SA, and his numbers are all good.  Huge sigh of relief.  This means that our main problem with TTC is getting me to ovulate, and the clomid seems to have that under control.  Hooray!!!  I am really hoping this cycle is it, because I may start losing friends if I have to stay on the Clomid.  I have absolutely zero patience for anyone.  

In other news, I am contemplating going to GA for my cousin's wedding in May.  I have never been down there, so I thought it would be a great opportunity to go somewhere I've never been.  My husband has also mentioned a possible trip to Dallas or Washington to visit some of his family.  I may be getting some good travel miles in this year.  I'm excited as I have not been to any of these places.  I also have a friend who will probably be getting married this year, and I'll get to travel to her wedding.  yay!  I better start hoarding vacation time now.